The soul cleansing power of the lament
(excerpts from my “morning writing” routine):
We are so often taught to stuff it down and act civil.
Yet there are times when we need to shake our fist at the world, pour out our soul,
like puzzle pieces on the floor and have God instruct us on how to rearrange them.
If we never get them out they just sit in there like cog in the wheel in a jumbled
mess.
Righteous anger tells us the threshold of where our values are being challenged,
and has it’s place.
Psalms has more laments than any other category. The preacher this morning, a
pinch hitter on a long weekend, who used to be the dean of a seminary, said there
are categories of Psalms – lament, praise, trust, thanksgiving and (sovereignty) –
throne room songs.
He didn’t talk about lament, specifically on this occasion, but it got me thinking. I’m
no stranger to lament, myself.
Lament helps us to discover where our soul is disconnected from our spirit or is
believing something either differently than God intended or even believing a lie,
inadvertently.
Its kind of like the reconciliation discrepancy report in accounting – when you
match up the statement with the receipts and something is out of order.
Maybe it’s akin to the check engine light on the dashboard of life.
Its when we refuse to sit down and shut up like a good boy and that we have what
we sense are legitimate grievances that, because we want union with the Holy
Spirit, Jesus and the Father, that because of that longing to be in alignment, we
have to deal with these sticking points.
And thus, insert grievances here.
Lament is rife for the HR department of heaven.
Our soul and our spirit are duking it out, and we need Holy Spirit to not only
referee and umpire but bestow revelation into our events and the ways of heaven
to dispel the struggle. Our flesh suit, if we are the quiet type, or ones who keep
our composure – often blood pressure ratings will be the evidence.
The majority of soul issues are reflected in the flesh someway somehow – both for good when the
spirit is energizing our bodies and not so good… when we are wound up, or
unsettled.
Takes one to know one, you’re in good company, I’ve spent many a day in the
“principals’ office” of Heaven’s HR department.
However, Elohim is glad you are there. They know you mean it in earnest. It’s
because you care. If you didn’t you would have walked away from it all and left it
behind. You’re all in, and that’s why you’re here. Me too.
It’s not a one time thing, or the Psalms would only have a single lament. In reality, It
is chock full of laments. It’s the hit the wall moment. Found the boundary – usually
of ourselves, not the Holy Spirit. The glass ceiling. The constipation of life.
The antidote to Lament, is some spiritual prune juice (or magnesium) and an HR
session with Holy Spirit with some quality revelation and we can start recompile
ourselves again.
Time frame varies. Sometimes quick, other times longer.
We know there is no other way than the Lord, we know walking away isn’t an
option, as much as our flesh might disagree, so at the same rate we throw down
the hockey gloves and say “game on” to the Lord and do ask King David did…
hash it out and then ask for mercy… he knew to come to the well to draw more
water.
It’s not that the Lord is against us, although it inevitably and unmistakably feels
that way, but that we are out of resources, out of options, feeling cornered like a
racoon, and we’re coming out swinging. We’re too sad and mad to care anymore
and are essentially soulically beside ourselves, and can’t stay that way…
something has to happen… one way or another, it’s ride or well.. you know..
Lament isn’t a tantrum, it’s a soul cry.
That’s an important distinction.
We are not arrogantly waiving our fist at God because our narcissistic, futile wants
weren’t met.
Laments are bonafide grievances. Where life hands out more than it’s fair share of
manure. And here we are earnestly following God to the best of our ability, to the
most heartfelt, and now here we are knee deep in it.
We did everything we thought we could do, with the best of heart and intentions
and our proverbial ice cream has landed splat on the sidewalk that we had waited
for all our lives. Hopes, dreams, desires, loves, things that were dear are
compromised or demised.
There’s no undo, there’s no putting the toothpaste back in the tube. What’s done is
done, and we are left with the pieces. None of which fit back together…
We place them in our palms, face up to the Lord and say, have mercy on me, just
as King David did… with all the angst and disillusionment and despair to Abba
(daddy) God and say look at this! Look! Do you see this?!? How are we here? I did
everything you asked! Life is more than I can bear. This is more than my portion of
tragedy, malady, turmoil. Father, have mercy on me.
Verses such as He “is strong when you are weak”, albeit true, we want to shoot
out of the sky like a clay pigeon, and stomp on them when they hit the ground. We
are not there yet, at that moment, we are nowhere near there. That’s like iodine on
a gushing wound… we need a compress. We look up and see the bottom, that’s
the navigational positioning.
After snot cries and silence, generally a comforting silence, we look up with our
matted hair, wet from tears, blow our nose, sense a quiet “I know”. Then we put
one foot in front of the other, and try again another day… day by day, with a little
hope and the remnants of faith we can muster, things look incrementally better,
until one day, we realize we feel whole again. We feel different, we feel changed,
in a metamorphosis way, we aren’t like we were, we are something different. But
we are whole nevertheless.
Sylvia Fox Bevan
August 4 2024
PS: We eventually, and finally, after many a tousle, eventually realize our lives our
his, and not our own. At first, this is not our favourite answer. When we allow it to
marinate in, we will come to know it is the freedom we always craved and longed
for. To exhale, fully and completely, and let Him hold us, just as the universe is, in
the palm of His hand. For track record’s sake – He hasn’t dropped that one yet, and
has no intention of dropping us either.
Lament essentially leads to surrender – not a white flag, but one of handing over
sovereignty to a Loving Father who only has our best interests at heart in our soul.
Our spirit did when we became believers but our soul – mind will and emotions – is
later on – a “renewing of our mind” is part of the soul and talked a lot about in the
bible.
The “will” is talked about extensively as well, and of course emotions. “ I
pray that in all things you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul
prospers” is another verse, that clearly shows the connection between soul health
and physical health, and mental health by association.
Being different after a single or sometimes multiple revolutions of lament – bring us
to brokenness – where we are malleable, pliable, flexible to the Lord and his ways.
Not rigid like cement or stubborn like a mule, or indifferent like a cat. It hinges on
vulnerability.
Why vulnerability of all things? If we think of marriage or love, there is an immense
amount of vulnerability and in a sense brokenness – we choose to show our
underbelly and be unguarded, in a true relationship and God is no different. We
trust Him above our own thoughts our own ways, even if they turn out to look like
ice cream on the floor.
Lamentations are the band of brothers in the foxhole kind of forging in the fire.
One has no relationship like one that has gone through hell and back with
someone. They become fused. Like many metals come together to make steel. No
longer can you tell which is which, in the end product, they are forged together.
This is us and God post lamentation. It’s why we’re different.
Not only are we being purified in the fire, letting all our twangs and twerks out, the
weaknesses that will not serve us in the plans he has for us in the future, but we
become solidified with Him. A sword is perhaps good imagery.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty.
August 5 2024
PPS:
Psalm 51: 17 my sacrifice is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart God you
will not despise
Psalm 50 talks of God himself not needing Israel’s sacrifice of animals for his
consumption sake… he being God of course has has no need of the flesh, it is for
their atonement, they are to realize sin costs something. It requires handing over
something that is precious.
Sacrifice, brokenness is precious to God.
Lament generally comes from a mixture of a perception of broken trust in a loving
relationship of one whom they thought if they had been a good partner this would
not have happened that the sovereignty of God would have intervened or
assuaged the whole thing.
A threshold of faith… reconciling the perceived tangible with the ways of the Spirit
(the Elohim – three in one) and our destiny.
We perhaps don’t see the full destiny of God and only our portion looks to us as if
it’s broken, even though there are greater works at play. Our portion is one match,
one session in the playbook of God.
We come to him in Lament to reconcile our drop in the ocean of existence with him
the maker of the ocean the cosmos and life itself.
Knowing God is like drawing a bucket out of the ocean. We know all that we know
in that bucket… but there is a vastness of all that we do not know.
Nevermind the rest of the cosmos themself.
Much like a teenager they know one hundred percent of what they know and think
they know everything… but there is a world of life experience in front of them.
Think back about what you wished you’d known then what you know now, and
what you wish you didn’t know.
Therefore when we lament, we are really asking…
“God show us what we do not yet know so that we can continue in our trust faith
love goodness in all that you are, and ever have been, and ever will be.”
My prayer for me and also for you. Whoever may find this, feel free to pray it for
yourself as well.
The lament is a wonderful option to have from a merciful God who allows us to
approach him in that way.
However, The lament is a failsafe, a parachute, a release valve steam vent on the
pressure cooker of life.
We are not meant to live there, or even camp there for too long. It’s much like a
gas station bathroom, we are glad to have it when we need it but never want to
use it more than absolutely necessary.
More morning writing
Sylvia Fox Bevan
Aug 5 2024
Like the ocean…
We can have as much or as little of God as we want, some draw a bucket, some a
glass of water, others an eyedropper. For others it’s a firehose. You gotta be in a
special place with Him for that.
Others try to jump all in but His Glory is so great that if we are not purified even of
lies we have not realize we have believed, even inadvertently from those we
trusted, our atoms would be annihilated.
I know personally people who have died been to Heaven and back (some with
paperwork to prove it)… they will tell you on the other side even in their spirit they
thought they were going to disintegrate before God at times, nevermind in their
body. Even though it was a superbulous divine moment, the power and majesty
was palpable.
If it’s proximity we are seeking with God to know him and his essence, we gotta be
separated from the world in a what we are drawn towards way. Is it the things of
God that are like bacon to our nose (and him chuckle thinking of the law
sacrifices) and where he resides or is it lifestyle here on earth.
A slice of our spirit resides with him as the text talks of seated with him in
heavenly places, and that is in conjunction with us still being on earth.
Our soul is like tracing paper or transparent sheets we are like a book and we have
layers of our soul. That’s how we can have soul ties with people.
Layers of the soul is not my phrase I learned it from a friend.
This is how Elijah translated in the old testament, how Paul appeared to the
churches. He consistently said his spirit was with them watching what was going
on from prison. Also when he physically showed up the maiden of the door
thought it was “just” his angel.
Ok so obviously there were a lot of angel appearances for this not to be
supposedly a big or odd thing.
Secondly Paul could show up in his spirit… also not a cause for awe, and a sense
of familiarity.
More another day…
